The Love of a Lily
by MissCHSparkles
Summary: James was desperate for Lily to love him and took drastic measures. But his actions meant that when Voldemort cursed her with Sleeping Death, her true love hadn't just been killed. He was still alive and he still loved her. Severus/Lily story.


_Author's note. I always thought it strange that Lily fell in love with James, after he was such a bullying arrogant prat who drove away anyone he thought might compete with him for her heart .e.g. Severus. And yet she overlooked all of that, even when it seems he didn't feel much regret for the way he acted._

_I suspect there's a story behind that, which may be revealed one day. But for now, here's my own version of why it happened, I hope you like it._

_This is a Severus/Lily story but that doesn't mean I hate James/Lily, I just wonder how they got together. But having said that, I prefer James being Harry's biological father rather than Severus._

_Suggestions are very welcome._

_Enjoy and please review._

1977

James Potter gloomily sat by the fire at the Gryffindor Common Room fire, deep in thought. It was just a few days after the start of his Seventh Year and normally he'd be full of energy and enthusiasm for the year ahead. But this year was different, for several reasons.

Firstly, Death Eaters had risen to an all time high, so much so that even the younger students were aware that something was wrong in their world. It seemed every week there were either disappearances or deaths. His father had come home very haggard every night and it wasn't helping his mother's health.

His dear parents had met and married later on in life but loved each other very much. And he was the result of that love, and sadly the only one. He would have loved some younger siblings but it wasn't to be. Not that it mattered too much, he had Sirius as a blood brother and that's all he needed. As well as two loyal friends, even if he wasn't quite as close to them as he was Sirius.

But the three of them were in their bed, not brooding like he was. He didn't think even Remus truly understood the seriousness of the situation they were all in. Or perhaps they didn't want to because while they were within this school, they were safe.

But once the school year was up, they'd need to leave the safety of Hogwarts as students forever and attempt to make their way in the world.

James already knew what he was going to do, he was going to train to become an Auror like his dad and fight Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. But that wasn't his only goal in life but his others goal was looking much harder to accomplish. Sometimes, he felt he'd have a better chance of defeated Voldemort once and for all than succeeding his heart's desire.

And that was why, despite all that was going on in the outside world, that wasn't the thing that bothered James the most.

It was Lily, his sweet, fiery and oh so beautiful Lily with a smile that always lifted his spirits. Except she rarely directed it at him. She still disliked him and only spent time with him because they were both Head Boy and Girl, meaning they needed to organise duties together.

He sighed heavily, he could readily admit that his attitude towards her their first two or three years at Hogwarts hadn't won him any brownie points. He'd loved pranking girls back then, her most of all and loved it even more when she got her own back. But now he was older, he saw that if you wanted a girl to like you, playing a prank on them was the worst way to go about it.

However, all his other attempts had failed miserably as well. It didn't matter, his tactics worked on other girls, she was totally immune. It didn't matter to her that he never lost a Quidditch match or that he looked his best on a wind swept broom.

Showing off his spell work didn't seem to attract her either, she just ended up yelling at him or sending him a look of pure disgust. He just couldn't get through to her, she got on better with _Sirius _than she did with him.

"_Because Sirius doesn't pester him with daily declarations of love,"_ a snide voice whispered in his mind.

James frowned. Remus had always told him he should treat Lily as a friend, instead of demanding she be his girlfriend without getting to know her. But he wanted her as his girlfriend _now,_ he didn't want to wait. He loved her so much and knew that he'd never be happy with anyone else.

But she didn't share this view, she'd told him several times that he was the last man on Earth that she'd go out with. He remembered an incident last term where he'd fallen asleep under his invisibility cloak in a lonely part of the Gryffindor corridor. And had woken up to the sound of sixth year girls chatting and one of them was Lily.

At first, he'd enjoyed hearing what they'd been talking about, mostly about the boys they fancied. But then one girl had asked Lily why she didn't go out with him when he was so great. But her answer had shocked him.

"_James Potter does have a lot of great assets but that's not why I don't like him. The problem is he knows he's got great assets and makes sure everyone else knows. He's always looking for attention and he doesn't care if it's good or bad. I just can't stand that."_

_James had felt his jaw drop, how could she be saying that about him? How was being handsome, talented, rich and a brilliant Quidditch player be a bad thing?_

"_But he's so good looking Lily," one of her friends now moaned. "And very charming."_

"_When he wants to be," Lily said grimly. "Not to someone who somehow manages to offend him in some stupid way. And have you heard him be 'charming' to me? Urgh, it's sickening, he talks to me as though I was some vapid female."_

"_Oh Lily," the friend giggled again but James felt his spirits fall right down to the floor._

The conversation had moved onto another topic but he hadn't been listening. It had been brought home to the fact just how arrogant Lily thought it was. But he was having a hard time understand why she thought this.

Sure, he liked to have a lot of fun but he was nowhere near as arrogant as some of those slimy Slytherins from Old Families were. Was he?

Well, there was one bit of good news about this whole situation.

Lily had slowly but surely been drifting away from that git Snape. For the first five years of Hogwarts, he'd been one of her best friends, the one she always seemed to hang out with or go to Hogsmede with. And no matter how many times he tried to show her he was scum, she just wouldn't listen. She even defended him whenever James and his friends taught him his place.

But after that incident after this Charm's OWL exam, their friendship had suffered a serious blow. Lily had forgiven him somewhat but no one could pretend they weren't drifting apart. It was only really in classrooms they spent time together now, meetings outside of that were becoming few and far between.

James snorted, he knew why.

Snivellius was on the path to becoming a scumy Death Eater and he was hanging out more and more with those he knew defiantly would become Dark servants. And of course, they didn't approve of the House mate hanging around with a Mudblood.

James gripped the chair in frustration, why couldn't Lily see he was bad news? When he'd failed to convince her of this, he done his best to drive Snape away from her, for her own safety. It was better this way, that greasy git would only bring her pain and suffering. And he couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to his flower.

But despite the fact she wasn't about to go out with Snape any time soon, James didn't like the fact she got on better with him than she did with...him.

If only she'd give him a chance, just one chance and he could make her see how happy they could be together. And they didn't have much time left, he knew he had to make her his by the end of the year, or he'd never manage it.

He could give her everything she wanted and needed and he'd never stop loving her. He'd give her children, they'd have as many as she wanted. And he wouldn't stop her getting a job and going to work, if that's what she wanted. A lot of Pureblood girls didn't have that luxury but he knew Lily would expect it. So that's what she'd get.

He suspected that once they had their first child, she'd become a housewife but he wasn't going to impose the unwritten rule that she _had_ to be a housewife. They could have a few, childfree years of married life before they settled down to the task of creating a proper family for themselves.

With her skill as at Charms and his at Transfiguration, they'd have the perfect home. And as an Auror, he'd be able to protect them all, backed up by his friends. Yes and of course, Sirius would be Godfather to their first born, especially if it was a boy.

He figured if it was a girl, Lily would almost certainly want one of her girl friends named Godmother and he didn't have a problem with that. And perhaps if they had another son, Remus could become that boy's Godfather.

He wasn't so keen on the idea of Peter being a Godfather, his friend was a lot of fun and very useful but he didn't think he was up to the task. James sometime wondered if he was ever going to get himself a girlfriend and settle down.

Ah well, it didn't matter, he'd be honoured as an honorary uncle to their children, he was sure Wormy would like that. A part of the family without the responsibility that being Godfather entailed, yes, that would be perfect.

He smiled happily at this image of a perfect family before remembering that at the moment, this was only a dream, a fantasy.

He rubbed his forehead, he had no idea how he was going to go about trying to get her to see him in a positive light. Maybe if he stopped cursing people, she always hated that. She thought him a bully and last year before they'd broken up for the summer, she'd compared him to Death Eaters in a huge fight they'd had.

Flashback

"Do you enjoy it Potter, when your victims cower and cry because of your _harmless_ pranks?"

"What are you talking about, Evans?"

"Have you ever taken a good look at them, Potter, a really good look? You might as well be a Death Eater torturing a poor defensive Muggle."

"I'm nothing like _them!"_

"No?" Well, that's funny because you're always on about how much better you are than everyone else. Because you've got gold, a respected family name and supposed talent. Isn't that what the Death Eaters claim makes them better than everyone?"

"I...well..I mean...you...You can't compare me to them, I _hate_ the Dark Arts."

"You don't have to follow the Dark to be a monster Potter and you're coming pretty close to being that monster."

End of flashback

And she'd stormed off after making her point, her face bright red with anger and frustration. Sirius had later said she'd had tears in her eyes but Remus had said they were tears of frustration, not because she'd hurt James and felt guilty.

He knew now that he had to pull up his socks and start acting like the man he was meant to be now. He'd show her that he was none of the things she said he was, he was so much more.

Having made this promise, he stood up with the intention of going to bed. But as he moved, his eyes fell upon an abandoned book left by the fireplace. It was a rather soapy looking romance with a very predictable plot. But what caught his attention was the title.

"Bound by Amortentia, Freed by Love."

It was a story of a witch who unknowingly consumed a love potion, married someone she didn't like and had been desperate to escape. But after the effects had worn off, she had grown to truly love the man she had married and they had defeated the ones who'd tricked her in the first place.

He remembered Sirius reading the back cover story, mocking girls' tastes in books. But it had given James an idea, a terrible idea.

If he used a Love Potion on Lily, then she'd be forced to give him a chance and he could finally show her he could be trusted to act mature. Of course, he couldn't give her Amortentia, it would be far too obvious to everyone and Lily herself if she suddenly declared her love for him out of nowhere.

No, he had to be much clever than that. Thankfully, being a Marauder, this wasn't hard and soon, he'd come up with a plan. In the evening, once a week, he and Lily had decided to meet to discuss how things were coming along in the school and what they could do to improve things.

If he spiked an evening drink for her with a very diluted form of the love potion, it would mean she liked him but not outrageously love him. All he'd need to do was to top it up every week and as they got to know each other, maybe increase it a little.

Of course, he'd take her slowly off it but by then, she'd have fallen in love with him all on her own and he wouldn't need it. He just wanted her to see him a good light for once and was sure once she did, everything would be fine.

With this thought in mind, he headed for bed. But tomorrow, he'd put his plan into action, though he wouldn't be telling his friends. No, this was something that he and he alone was going to do.

Three days later

"Potter, you're here at last," Lily sighed as James Potter finally entered the Head Boy and Girl study.

"I was beginning to think you'd bunked off."

"No, McGonagall wanted a word," James explained, carefully carrying two bottles of Butter Beer.

Lily looked at them thirstily, it was a rather hot day despite the fact the season was turning.

"Oh, would you like a drink?" James asked, correctly interpreting her look.

"Thank you, I would," she said, taking the bottle he handed her.

"As long as you haven't done anything to it,"

"I haven't but you're free to hex me if I have," James said mildly.

She eyed him for a moment before raising the bottle to her lips. James took a swig from his own, watching as the liquid past her beautiful lips and went down her throat.

He smiled triumphantly to himself.

_Author's note. The next chapter takes place in the future, in Harry's second or third year, haven't made my mind up. If anyone has an idea, I'd be glad to hear it. Until then._


End file.
